Bold truth: leftovers at a potluck aren’t automatically “moral leftovers” for everyone—they’re your contribution, and you deserve a fair say in what happens to it.
When you bring a dish to a potluck, it’s natural to assume any uneaten portions stay with the host unless guests are explicitly invited to take some home. Potlucks often overflow with food, and some contributions may barely be touched despite the time and money invested. In those moments, it’s reasonable to want your dish back rather than watch it go to waste.
If your contribution remains largely untouched, you can and should approach your hosts with a polite request to take your dish home, provided it’s not perishable. To be considerate, offer to leave a portion behind for the hosts if they’d like it, showing respect for their hospitality and for the effort they put into the event.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren (Jeanne Phillips), continuing the tradition her mother, Pauline Phillips, began. For more guidance or to submit your own questions, visit Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or mail to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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These columns illustrate how everyday etiquette questions can spark debate and invite a range of opinions. Some readers may push back on the idea of taking home leftovers, while others applaud practical, waste-reducing solutions. What do you think: should guests automatically have the option to reclaim their dishes, or should hosts retain full discretion? Would your answer change if the dish was perishable or if the potluck environment emphasized sharing throughout the week? Share your thoughts in the comments.
